Ouch, this hurts! Easing the stress & pain of divorce with a support group.

"I recently separated from my spouse. So far things are amicable but I have a lot anxiety regarding the legal process and how it will work with two separate households and three kids"

"Private therapy is too expensive but I'd really like to do some self-work so I don't end up with the same type of guy as the jerk I was married to"

"My wife just announced that she wants a divorce, I'd like some support from people that are not connected to the both of us (e.g. friends, family). I'd like a group setting, where I can share and participate -- and hopefully learn from others' experience"

"I am angry, confused and overwhelmed. I don't know anyone else who is struggling with the same issues."

"I am a professional in my 40's with two very young kids. My spouse just announced his/her plans for divorce. S/he has been thinking about this for months -- planning where we would live, where the kids would go to school, and how things will be paid for. I don't even know where to begin. Help!

There are several Divorce / Separation Support Groups in the Bay Area. Below are a few resources that have been raved about by some of our former clients. I don't care who you are -- when you go through a painful separation, it is helpful to gain the support of others. No matter your resources or your situation, Divorce is not fun and can feel very alienating. A Support Group is a great option to assist you with transition, as you are faced with a whole new way of living!

-Separation/Divorce Support Group by Susan Regan

999 Sutter Street                                                                                      Every Tuesdays                                     5:30PM-7:00PM

San Francisco, CA. 94109                                                                     $60.00

(415) 800- 1185                                                                                                            All Genders

http://groups.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=58056&sid=1367876127.4044_329&county=Alameda&state=CA&spec=26&gid=15677

http://www.susanregan.org

-Women and Divorce by Dr. Mary Thomas

2241 Central Ave. Ste. 1                                                                       Every Wednesdays          

7:00PM-8:00PM

Alameda, CA. 94501                                                                               $40-$50

(510) 470-7238                                                                                                             Genders: Female

http://groups.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=36779&sid=1367876127.4044_329&city=Alameda&county=Alameda&state=CA&gid=10973                 

-Woman’s Relationship/Separation/Divorce/Support Group by Illana Berger, PhD.

 Mindful Partnership/Mindful Divorce                                       Times Vary

 1832 Gouldin Road                                                                                 Call for Rates

 Oakland, CA 94611

(510) 759-8758 

Email: info@mindfuldivorce.com

http://www.mindfulpartnership.com/services.html

-Divorce/Separation Support Group for Women

2315 Prince St.                                                                                           Thursdays                              6:30PM-8:00PM                

Berkeley, CA,                                                                                               $50 (one time reg fee) $50 per session

Topics Center On: Loneliness and Unmet Needs, Grief and Loss, Anxiety, Guilt and Shame, Decision Making, Children and Parenting, Rebuilding and Self Care

510-501-2936

Email: rachel@rachelwalkermft.com

http://www.mindfulpartnership.com/services.html

Another website you can visit is: http://www.meetup.com/ there you can find, and/or start a variety of support groups from self-help to divorce and grief groups, at the location of your choice.

Online Support Groups: http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/support-group

Alameda County Divorce Support Groups:

-Christian Life Center 4121 Lowry Road Fremont, CA 94555

Contact: Roger McCarthy                                                  Phone: 510-489-3265

-Neighborhood Church 20600 John Drive Castro Valley, CA 94546

Contact: Nancy Mathiasen                                              Phone: 510-537-4690

-Trinity Baptist Church 557 Olivina Ave. Livermore, CA 94550

Contact: Tom Walsh                                                             Phone: 510-447-1848

Source from: http://www.divorcesource.com/CA/alameda.html

Kelly Cushner and Mara Rosen Nachtsheim have small groups that meet on College Avenue in Rockridge.   

Here is the link:   http://bayareasupportgroups.com

Why Computer Generated Divorce Documents Suck

In the last six months, several people have come to me requesting that I 'fix' their divorce after an online document preparer screwed up their case. They thought the (legal) aspect of their divorce would be painless, quick and cheap. They purchased a "DIY" package from Legal Zoom or the like and had all their documents prepared. Just when they thought it was over, their relatively simple Divorce Judgment was rejected by the court. Prior agreements became unenforceable and in some cases - resulted in the other party 'lawyering up.' They made phone calls (a lot) and spoke to customer service representative after representative -- to no avail. They tried making the changes themselves, after all -- it's not brain surgery right? Right. But the local rules for each jurisdiction can be complicated and difficult to navigate.

Soon, the convenience of an online Divorce Document preparer became more time consuming, expensive and frustrating than ever anticipated. That's where Levine Law Group enters the picture. "Can you please please please push my judgment through so I can finalize my divorce?" 

Every jurisdiction is different. Every Judge is different and interprets local rules and state Family Law codes differently.  If your divorce documents do not meet the procedural requirements, it will not get past the court clerk -- and therefore, it will not be signed (or even seen) by a Judge no matter how simple your divorce is. 

Why not get it right the first time? For as little as $500 - $3,500, we will prepare, file and serve your documents. We will also personally ensure that your divorce is finalized and that you are updated along the way. If you so choose -- everything can be processed and completed online -- using our secure and personalized case management web portal. 

Legal document websites definitely have their place in our lives. But when it comes to filing a legal action --- you're probably better off with a local paralegal / document preparation service who has an attorney to oversee any issues and approve all documents and a staff to ensure your experience is nothing less than convenient, affordable and friendly. The last thing anyone needs when their going through the trauma of a break up -- is learning that your divorce was never finalized or the agreements made between spouses are not enforceable in your jurisdiction!

What is a Legal Coach and should I get one?

Depending on the complexity of your case and your financial circumstances, a legal coach (aka consulting attorney) may be a great way to obtain assistance with your Divorce or other Family Law Matter. At Levine Family Law Group, we structure agreements that clearly outline the parameters of our role in your case so cost is clearly defined and you are well versed on what we can and will help you with. Some of our most positive reviews have come from clients who have utilized the 'divorce coach' option to:

• Negotiate a legal strategy and implement it;
• Draft documents to present in court;
• Review and 'sign off' on an Agreement; 
• Provide advice and guidance through a Mediation process and/or
• Learn about the law that applies in his/her case.

Family Law Coaching offer clients the ability to meet with an attorney and/or paralegal on a limited basis -- for one session, or several meetings over a course of time. We are able to assist you improve the likelihood of success by:

• avoiding costly mistakes;
• giving you no-nonsense advice;
• developing legal strategy for mediation or litigation by assessing your needs and the     law;
• providing tips for litigating your case (everything from how to present your case to who your judge is and what our experience is in front of him/her);
• confirming whether you have a strong claim or defense;
• helping you prepare documents;
• filing and serving legal documents;
• answering questions along the way;
• reviewing your documents and provide suggestions for improvement; 
• being on call in case you decide to have representation in court;
• taking over your case if things feel out of control or you are awarded fees;
• obtaining the assistance of a legal team confidentially;
• reviewing a Judgment or Marital Settlement Agreement drafted by your mediator;
• explaining local rules or formal court procedure;
• assisting in developing a proposal consistent with your personal and financial goals;
• getting you organized;
• offering advice for negotiation and dealing with opposing counsel/party;
• analyzing expert reports;
• exploring settlement options; and/or
• determining and explaining the practical consequences of various property division and support orders.

To find out if legal coaching is right for you, feel free to schedule a free 30 minute consultation by completing the contact form here.

Kids & the Law (in California) Part 2

We are always looking for ways to protect our children. When they're babies we use baby gates and child locks. We give our young children swimming lessons and tell them not to run with scissors or not to go with strangers. Our teens get curfews, driving lessons and internet regulations. Even now, my father can't help but remind me to lock my car doors and renew my insurance policies.

But what about the law? There are tons of laws that pertain to our children and many of them carry serious consequences if violated. Part 1 explored some of them and now -- in Part 2, I try to cover a bunch more. 

• Your teen drivers must have car insurance. You can add them to your own policy but that can be expensive. Another option is to get them insured in their own right. They can keep this policy as they age. Policy coverage minimums are as follows: 
• $15,000 for the injury or death of one person per accident
• $30,000 for the injury or death of two or more people
• $5,000 for property damage per accident. 

• Children ages 6 and under cannot be left alone in a car if keys are still in the ignition. Someone age 12 or older must stay behind to supervise them. 

• Children driving without a license. A teen caught driving without a valid driver's license or permit can be subject to a misdemeanor. Your child must also have her license in their possession while driving. Driving with a suspended or revoked license could leda to jail time and/or a fine up to $1,000 (for a first conviction).

• Upon a second violation of a curfew law, parents can be charged for the administration and transportation costs associated with returning a child to his parents. 

• If you don't know the curfew laws pertaining to your locale (usually 10pm with some exceptions), call your local police department.

• It's a misdemeanor to tattoo or even offer a tattoo to a child.

• Possessing 28.5 grams of marijuana or less is a misdemeanor under state law. If your child is found with more than an ounce at school or cultivating pot -- the consequences are more serious.

• It is illegal for a child to be anywhere (even a party) where controlled substances are being used if she is participating or assisting others in their use. 

• Emancipation: A child becomes emancipated from their parents when they marry or are on active duty in the military. Otherwise, it's much more difficult. A child 14 or older can petition the court for emancipation but must notify his parents/guardian, prove that the decision is voluntary, have parental consent or acquiescence to manager her affairs, prove he can make money and how expenses will be handled. The judge must also find that it is in the child's best interest. In some instances, the order for emancipation can be rescinded.

• Fighting (except for proving it was in self defense) is no joke in California. Gone are the days where we let 'boys be boys' and fight out their agression. While police can simply escort the child home, more often they will be arrested and could face charges of assault and battery or disturbing the peace. 

• A child who distracts a professional athlete or interfere's with a professional sporting event by throwing an object onto or across the field -- will be breaking the law. 

• The law defines graffiti as an unauthorized inscription, word, figure, mark or design that is written marked, etched, scratched, drawn or painted on real or personal property. Graffiti is considered vandalism and it is against the law. Punishment can include jail or prison and fines as much as $50,000. The tagger may also be ordered to clean up, repair or replace damaged property or have their license suspended (or delayed for three years beyond the date they would have been eligible to drive). My understanding is that sometimes suspensions can be delayed or reduced via community service or graffiti clean up.

• It is a misdemeanor for anyone to sell, give or furnish a child with any etching cream or aerosol can of paint that could be used to deface property. It's also a misdemeanor for any child to purchase these materials. 

• Parents of gang members can be prosecuted and held criminally liable for their child's gang related activities. 

• Kids cannot leave their pet tethered for longer than 3 hours in a 24 hour period or they will be breaking the law.

• Parents who know or should have known that their child engages in improper conduct, or who aid in such conduct may be held liable for their child's acts. Specific statutes hold parents liable for certain harm caused by their kids such as -- injuries from guns, willful misconduct, graffiti, tear gas injuries, truancy fines (sometimes $100 for the fourth violation), shoplifting and curfew violations.

What if your child is approached, questioned or arrested by the police?

Teach them to follow these tips:

• Do not resist arrest. Struggling with the police can be charged as a separate crime even if your child is innocent of the underlying crime.
• Respectfully decline permission to search. Just like adults, kids have 4th amendment protections from unreasonable search and seizure.
• Remain silent: After giving their name, address, phone number and parents' names, have them remain quiet until they speak with you and/or a criminal defense attorney. 
• Show up to their court date
• Don't talk to friends or acquaintances about the case specifics. You don't want cops to be able to use those third party statements in court!

Kids & the Law (in California)

I think I may have promised my one-year-old daughter a sports car at 16.

This morning she was talking to me. 'mama, slkfjoej sioueoiw weuoruel'
So I would answer back 'sure, Zoe' or 'I totally agree, Zoe' or 'You'd like some breakfast?'
None of my responses were satisfactory to this toddler and she kept persisting with her baby talk. 

'mama, akl;dfja akdfja kljdad uh oh' (Zoe)
So finally, in an effort to calm her frustration I said 'Zo, ddalkjdl adfl;jaf dafkjlk adfjkl' (or something like that).

and what was her response? A HUGE SMILE, an approving clap / cheer, a look of utter satisfaction and a willingness to move on to breakfast. 

I might not ever know what I said that made her so pleased but, chances are, she'll remember it and remind me later. AND would our 'oral contract' be binding? um, no. (and I recognize this is a ridiculous example) but the truth is, there are TONS OF LAWS THAT PERTAIN TO KIDS and most of us don't know them. Below are some good ones to remember:

• Before a teenager gets a driver's license, they must get an instructional permit from the DMV and be at least 15 1/2 but not yet 18. 
• Children under 18 must wear a bike helmet while riding a scooter (non-motorized or motorized)
• Teenagers under 18 may not be employed as drivers.
• In some circumstances minors over the age of 14 can get a junior driving permit (VC 12513, 12650).
• If someone under age 18 causes a traffic collision after drinking alcohol at home, his or her parent could face misdemeanor charges, a year in jail and a $1000 fine. 
• A child who frequently violates curfew laws may be declared a ward of the court and treated as a status offender.
• It is illegal for an adult stranger to contact your child online.
• California law prohibits kids from accessing someone else's computer without authorization, pirating or downloading copyrighted material such as music!
• A principal or superintendent MUST recommend expulsion (unless circs make it inappropriate)  for any student who causes serious physical injury to another (except in self defense, possesses a firearm, knife or other dangerous object at school, sells drugs (except for a first offense of selling less than an ounce of marijuana) and commits robbery or blackmail.
• California law requires children between the ages of 6 - 18 to attend school or classes full time. Those who are absent without a valid excuse for three or more days during a school year, or who are tardy more than 30 minutes without a valid excuse on 3 occasions in a school year, are truants!
• A criminal complaint can be filed against a parent who fails to comply with a school attendance review board. 
• Kids must not work more than three hours on a school day and no more than 18 hours in a school week. 
• Kids must not be employed more than 8 hours on a non-school day and mo more than 40 hours in a non school week. 

Tip: check your local city or county ordinances for regulations about the use of skateboards, skates and scooters. 

Part two will include laws pertaining to kids with respect to gangs, guardianship, graffiti, fighting, alcohol and more. 

Help, my spouse is missing!

I often get asked the question: I want to file a Divorce or other Family Law action but I don't know where the Respondent is? Can I proceed?

Sometimes the court allows litigants to serve documents other than by personal service (e.g. service by posting or publication). However, before the court will allow this, you will have to prove that you have tried your hardest to find him/her. Also, sometimes it will be helpful to the action to actually find your ex-partner so that you can enforce court orders such as child or spousal support. 

Tips for Finding a Missing Spouse/Partner in Order to Serve Him/Her:

• Search social networking sites: I can't tell you how many times we have done a Facebook search and found a former partner. Sometimes locations are listed or you can email/ message a missing person. Sometimes there are photo's of places s/he frequents that you (or a registered process server) can track down.

• Send a letter to your spouse's last address: Ensure to write "return service requested, do not forward. If they filed a change of address form with the USPS, you will get the letter back with a new address.

• Call 411: Ok, I know this sounds silly, but often times if you call the city that you think your ex lives or works, you may be able to get a phone number and/or an address!

• Try online telephone directories or a reverse telephone number directory: If you know his/her phone number, try to get the address from a reverse telephone number directory.

• Contact relatives or friends: Perhaps you tell them that the children have an urgent matter and you need to contact the other parent? (It's not really a lie right? I mean if a parent is missing, that is certainly urgent!) Call, write or email them and ask if they contact information or, in the alternative, if they will contact them on your behalf.

• Try past employers: Contact them to see if they have any info regarding the person's whereabouts or a name / address of a new employer. It's worth a try!

• Search property records with tax assessor's office or county registrar/recorder's office. 

• Consider using a paid internet site that searches for people: The more info you have like name, date of birth or social security number -- the more likely the results are accurate.Also try aliases. 

• If you think they may be in jail contact CDCR (California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, County Jail or search the Federal Bureau of Prison's Inmate Locator Database. Make sure you have the name and date of birth. 

• Contact a Private Investigator or be your own detective: Even if you don't know where someone lives, you may know where they frequent or know their habits. Do they go to a certain bar? Gym? Coffee shop? Remember, you can't serve him/her but you can have a friend, family member or registered server help you track someone down. 

Below are some links to Bay Area Process Servers:

 Sturdee Services - The best! We've used them for several years and they have been successful at tracking down people trying to evade service. 

Process Server Institue - San Francisco

Same Day Attorney Service - Berkeley 

Docket Rocket - Great Yelp Reviews!

I've Separated From the Mother of My Child, Now What?

Paternity = Fatherhood

If you have not married the mother of your child, you will need a Judgment of Paternity to establish your right as a father. A parentage case may be started by the mother, the father, a child's personal representative or the Department of Child Support Services. 

There is one exception to the requirement for a Judgment of Paternity: If you have correctly executed a Declaration of Paternity (CS 909) [usually you are presented with one in the hospital if you were present for the birth]. The Declaration of Paternity must be signed by both parents and can have the same effect as a court order establishing paternity of your child -- without anyone having to go to court. When the form is not signed at birth -- you and mom must complete the form in front of a notary public and send to the State Department of Social Service. 

Should I sign a Declaration of Paternity? 

Only sign if you are certain you are the father. Since it can have the same effect of a Judgment, once you have correctly completed the document you can be held responsible for child support unless you (1) file a Rescission Form within 60 days or (2) successfully challenge the DOP within a very limited period of time. The latter option is much more difficult and may require legal assistance. 

Can I still establish my Paternity if I do not sign the DOP or if I am not on the Birth Certificate? What about if the Mother refuses to acknowledge my rights to our child?

Absolutely! You will need to file a Petition to Establish a Parental Relationship and bring the case before a Judge. Once paternity has been established, you can seek custody and visitation rights. 

What if I am not sure if the child is biologically mine?

You can ask the court to order genetic testing prior to an admission of paternity.

Can I change a previous order of child custody or support?

You can change a prior order by filing a Request for Order with the Court. You must show a change of circumstances. Examples include: (1) change in income; (2) informal or court ordered change of custodial time share; (2) you have completed drug/ alcohol rehabilitation or anger management courses; or (3) the mother is not providing a safe or suitable home environment.

If we come to an agreement, do either of us need to go to court?

No! Assuming you have a complete agreement and you have filed the necessary pleadings, you will not need to go to court.

I did not sign a Declaration of Paternity and/or there is no Judgment of Paternity. Mother and I have an amicable relationship. Do I still need a Judgment of Paternity? 

It is still a very good idea to establish Paternity. If you fail to establish paternity, your child may have difficulty inheriting from you or your family members, traveling with you, receiving social security / veteran's benefits (if available), accessing family medical records, obtaining support from both parents or reaping the emotional benefits of knowing who both parents are. You may also have trouble getting access to your child if the relationship between you and your child's mother becomes strained.

If you need assistance establishing your parental relationship and/or challenging a paternity judgment, Levine Law Group can help. We offer a range of services including: mediation, document preparation, legal coaching, limited scope representation and Full Representation.